Lemon Pepper Steppers

Lets talk about capitalism in the church, but first:

Have you heard the story about the preacher who could not convert his congregation? The church he preached at was a tough crowd. He would go Sunday after Sunday giving his best work. He would give the word as if the holy ghost was speaking through him, but still he could not a single amen from the crowd. They would sit quietly then leave once the service was over. There was nothing the preacher could do to get the congregation to donate to the church.

After 2 years the preacher needed a break. He lured in a well known preacher to try and get the members to convert while he was gone. Now this preacher belonged to one of the largest churches in the area; he had no problem converting believers. He was sure in no time that the collection plate would be overfilled. Well, after 2 months the preacher had no converters. For the next 3 weeks the preacher did the best preaching anyone has seen. The crowd still could not be moved; not a single amen could be heard.

By the end of the 3rd month the preacher had enough. Before service he told the ushers to lock the doors after the congregation got settled for service and bring him the keys. The preacher stepped out dressed to the 9’s. A finely tailored suit, a beautiful watch, and his lemon pepper steppers on his feet. He gave one of the best services anyone has ever sat through and once more he finished to crickets. The preacher then whips out a .38 special for these tricky niggas. He fired two shots into the ceiling and finally the crowd made a noise; screams. He said “ I have spent 3 months giving you the best preaching you have ever seen and haven’t had a single contribution to the plate. today you are going to tithe.” He took the full collection plate and went back to his church once and for all.

This is a lie, but it is not my lie. This was a story told in a circle of people down in Florida where Zora Hurston heard the story and decided to put it in “Mules and Men.” Before Druski decided to step into those red bottom shoes, the story of greed within the church has been passed from generation to generation since the ancestors were freed. That greed is a symptom of capitalism.

By the time christianity reached our ancestor it had already fully subscribed to capitalism and colonialism (cuz how’d we get here nigga). The stories and lessons spent a thousand years in the white man’s hands before it was forced down our throats. If we are going to choose to practice the following of Christ we need to decolonize it first. Capitalism inside the church is a starting point.

Back when Zora wrote Mules and Men in 1935 even a small town like Eatonville, Florida where she’s from had 2 churches. I grew up in a town of around 6,000 people and 3 or 4 churches. If there was a preacher you did not agree with or spent a little too much of the churches money on his lemon pepper steppers you had options. Today, churches are closing left and right, however, the number of churchgoers are increasing. Both of these events can occur because of the rise of mega churches (2,000 members or more). Small congregation are being merged and consolidated into these mega churches. I am not versed enough to tell you about what the Bible says about merger and acquisitions, but I know it’s a part of capitalism.

The goal is to keep high ranking members rich and spend large chunks of money to get people in the seats. That may come in the form of making sure the campus looks modern, coffee bars, or other amenities that make you feel like your church experience is a luxury; to the Mega church you are a customer. Is this starting to sound exactly like Amazon, Wal-Mart, and Target running out local stores? That’s capitalism nigga!

These Mega churches are the evolution of capitalism in the church. It is important for us to know the history of how we got here. From preachers trying to make buck off the donation plate to mega churches running million dollar companies.

The greed is fucking with our spirit and that should not sit right with us. We are and have always been very spiritual people. I am burning candle while I write this; IYKYK. Mega churches have found their way into the Black community. We deserve better than big box churches with light shows. Our DNA has spirituality woven into it; we need it to survive. Imagine how much stronger our communities would be if they all had decolonized spiritual places of worship.

Stay woke,

Loc